The Truant Muse

Sonnet 101, and other junk.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

fear and loathing in the living room

Fuck shit cock ass motherfucking cunt whore and various other satisfyingly crude expletives!!!!!!!
I'm in an identity crisis with no apparent end.
And on top of that, today I hear:
"I might not be going back to school next year" he says. "I can't afford it, I've found a steady job I enjoy"
I'm crushed and I tell him so, simultaneously feeling justified and selfish. What about your dream?
"That's all it is," he says, fatalistic as ever. "Just a dream."
My brain screams BULLSHIT. I want to pound the walls with my fists. Tears well up but I banish them. I settle for telling him I'm very upset, but it's none of my damn business and I'll stop making it about me because clearly it isn't.
Fuck. I'm right. It is none of my business. It's his life and it's his decision entirely.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to fight my own fear. Fear that I'll accomplish nothing and never be really good at anything.
Maybe I need to take a page out of Dune, eh Corwin?

1 Comments:

At Thursday, 28 September, 2006, Blogger natasha blight said...

fair enough man.

I only like spinach if its doused in vinegar.

Haven't talk in awhile...therefore you should call....or chill someday.

 

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