Who the fuck is Jackson Pollock?

Well, here I am in single-land again, trying to get my own life figured out. It's not a bad place to be-; presented with endless opportunities, not bound by anyone else's will. All the energy I had previously devoted to keeping a failing relationship afloat can now be directed towards other, loftier projects.
Like ESSAYS!
And staying up to watch the U.S. midterm elections, because I'm a tool like that.
Seriously, though. I'm doing well. But not as well as retired trucker Teri Horton, who just found out that a painting she bought as joke for $5 is most likely a Jackson Pollock original. To quote Ms. Horton: "We were going to go in the trailer and get her darts and throw darts at it, but we sat there and drank beer and never did get around to it."
I must warn you, however, that most painting found at thrift stores aren't worth a pile of cash. Not to knock paintings on velvet.