hold me closer Tony Danza... watch the headlights on the highway... lay me down in sheets of linen...

The scene opens in a CHAT WINDOW of the MSN MESSENGER persuasion.
Our players, STEPH and EMILY are engaged in a discussion of the meaning of Elton John's song 'Tiny Dancer'.
EMILY has just revealed the purpose of ELTON'S LYRICIST when writing the song...


Emily: Actually the song is about his wife.

Steph: Oh, I always thought it was about a hooker.

Emily: No. She was a roadie.

Steph: Oh, dang, I thought she might have been a *classy* hooker, you know... redeemable. But she's just a groupie...

Emily: No, she's a roadie. There's a tiny difference...

Steph: She's sleeping with a band member, she's a groupie.

Emily: Seamstress for the band, Steph. Seamstress for the band...

Steph: "Hey, anybody here order a seamstress?"

Emily: *laughing*

Steph: "Yeah, I think the band did..."

Emily: *laughing*

Steph: "Oh yeah, baby, you THREAD that needle!!! Darn my socks, baby, oh god yes!"

Emily: You are my hero.

Steph: I wonder if she sewed the sheets of linen herself...?

an evil evening drinking blood by the gallon

So, last night wins for roughest night of the semester. Hands down.

But Nicky talked me down, thank god, and I felt a little better. Then Klarisa and Corwin came home and gave me much-needed cuddles and candy, and jokes about my Jewish heritage.

Alexandra arrived like my guardian angel bearing wine and fondue. We proceeded to get smashingly drunk off her granddad's home-made wine and danced in the kitchen while consuming copious amounts of fruit dipped in melted chocolate chips.
We came to the following conclusions:

a) Boys are dumb, and

b) We need to try out for Canadian Idol as a duo, our gimmick being that we're like the spice girls, except there's two of us and we're fat. The tagline: We weigh as much as all five spice girls. I thought it was absolute genius!


So here I am, waiting to go to rehearsal, figuring out how to finish this post that I started this morning. And wondering how many more times I'll listen to 'Lady Venom' before I get really sick of it.
I have decided I shall dance, until I have to call my cab, and be fabulous, in fine fat spice girl fashion.
*dances*

I am not surprised

I'm not at all in shock that I would choose to further complicate my life by getting involved with an old flame.
I am not surprised that it's turned out to be a rollercoaster ride of emotion, that I can range from glowing happiness to stark despair in the span of a few hours.
It doesn't surprise me that I've thrown my soul into a relationship that didn't work the first time around, considering my reflection on the act and also my stubborn mindset.

What surprises me is how glaringly I miss him, after 11 months of barely speaking.

I read over some of our conversations last night. I thought it would be nice, but instead it just made me vaguely uneasy. Seeing myself, in earnest, aching to speak with him and holding it back.
"I like being your friend," I told him many times. For how could I tell him the whole truth? And now, fast-forward to February 2006, and we're back to being blisteringly in love and too far apart. Our whirlwind weekend in Toronto and his visit to Waterloo have just left me frustrated because I've seen him and been with him again and I remember my obsession. It's re-kindled old fires that have the potential to run wild.

We were always too far apart, even when we lived in neighbouring towns.
I know I felt smothered because he used to call me all the time, but now he doesn't call me at all and I miss it.
Am I just being selfish? Clearly I cannot make the relationship conform to some ideal that I make up.

What used to strangle me, I now yearn for.

I'm not even going to make a Venereal Disease joke because I am so above that.
:p

oh well

I'm ok.
I'm just getting tired of riding the emotional rollercoaster. But that's what my life is, and it will always be.
Yesterday was ok, really it was.
I'm just sick and tired, and tired of being sick.
Don't worry about me.

and then I accidentally negated existence as we know it

Emily Anson -- [noun]: A poltergeist sent back in time to change the course of history forever 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Jody bought Emily dark chocolate ganache. Emily was happy and went to bed satisfied.

birthday thoughts

What does it feel like to be 20?
Well actually it hasn't really hit me yet.
The sinus infection isn't helping, either.

But seriously... I can't believe I've lived for 20 years.

Here's a review of some things I've done in 20 years.

__


- Was born

- Had a lot of experiences I didn't remember

- Created a thousand fantasy worlds

- Learned to paddle a canoe and use chopsticks

- Learned simple algebra

- Read, sang, spoke and wrote

- Went to Greece

- Petted many cats

- Found out my mom was sick

- Starred in a musical

- Learned ballet, quit ballet

- Disliked myself

- Fell in love

- Flew a plane

- Met my best friends

- Forgot simple algebra

- Delivered a litter of kittens

- Tried psychadelic drugs

- Got my nose pierced

- Continued to dislike myself

- Rode an emotional rollercoaster

- Was tattooed

- Fell in love again

- Went to university

- Met a multitude of wonderful people

- Finally saw my father meet a woman who made him happy

- Moved to Waterloo

- Walked on a frozen lake

- Learned to love myself

___

These 20 years have been long and complex. I went through a lot, and came out happier and more well-adjusted. Maybe these things I have listed seem trivial, but they stand out in my memory and formative moments. Moments that made me more aware of myself and my surroundings. Moments that caused me to ask questions and actively seek answers.
The last year in particular has been filled with joy. Because of it, I go into my 20th year full of hope, and more importantly, full of confidence and spunk.

I'm on BOD!

...and then PIRG passed, and all was right in the jungle.